Monday, April 25, 2005
Describe yourself in three words
In a cosmetics shop, Donna is in discussion with the shop assistant. I can’t hear what they are talking about, when suddenly, both she and the till-girl look over in my direction. Donna says “He is oily” in a voice much louder than is absolutely necessary. The assistant nods, as do the rest of the customers in the shop. I hang my head, because I recognise myself in this description. I am oily.
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3 comments:
Well now, you may find that, if you do not first suffocate from the overbearing fragrance of said shop, a liberal application of Amazonian rainforest mud filtered through the bowels of Lancastrian mad cows and blended with the first layer of dew carefully removed from the only blades of grass remaiining in the Gobi desert (available in said shop) may help the oil.
I witnessed the incident, having already embarrassed myself without the need to involve my ladyfriend. A different assistant asked me about the state of my face and I replied without hesitation:'I am very dry - I do find that I need to moisturise a lot'. At which point my face became as red as it was dry. Are the days when provincial, or even urban(e), gentlemen can say this and get away with it here? Or was I right to redden?!
And also remember the 3 words you used to describe yourself before leaving the house that day
I am dirty
Imagine if that had been uttered aloud in the shop..
rotund in mind
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